Bradley Todd Herman

This by far the hardest post i have ever written. As most of you know, Mat and i were expecting our second child. last week i didn't feel him move for a few days. I started to get worried and decided to call the Doctor. Our worst fears were confirmed when the Ultrasound technician told us she couldn't find a heartbeat. My heart exploded. I couldn't understand why this was happening, or what had happened. I had just been to the Dr. the week before and everything was perfect. As i sobbed the Dr. told me that i needed to go to the hospital and have a C-section. I can't even describe the mix of sadness, and loss i had at that moment. We checked into the hospital at 3 pm. They couldn't do the operation until 10pm, so I just had to wait. It was so awful, i don't think i have ever cried so much in my entire life. Matt and a member of the stake presidency(Brother Jefferies) gave me a blessing before i had to go. It was such a comforting and powerful blessing. I am so grateful for the priesthood in my life. When they had done the surgery, and they were stitching me up, they told us that Bradley's umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck 4 times. It was very unusual and just an accident. I was relieved to know that it was nothing that i had done , and that it wasn't something genetic, that could affect other pregnancies. he was such a beautiful boy. He was 2 lbs 1 oz and 13 in. long. He looked perfect. He had red hair and big hands and feet. infact, he looked just like Matt, with my nose. He was just what we wanted. we had time to hold him and talk to him. It was a bitter sweet moment. I was so happy to be with him and so sad the let him go. Matt loved him immediately, and was so happy that he decided to see him and say goodbye. This past week has been so serial and almost not real. We had a funeral for Bradley yesterday and it was beautiful. Matt and my Dad spoke. Matt's Dad, and Grandma gave the prayers and we had a wonderful organ medley played. It couldn't have gone better. Brother Jefferies dedicated his grave and all the kids put roses on his casket. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been here for us, for all the phone calls and flowers. Thank to my ward for so much support and love. I don't think i have ever felt so loved anywhere else. I love you guys and pray that your homes will be happy and filled with the spirit. I don't know when this pain will pas but i do know that my Heavenly Father loves me and that i have a perfect little boy waiting for me in Heaven. Thank you for all your prayers, i have felt everyone of them.